"Spot The Passengers" 

I'm all for assisted suicide. Just not when it involves my fitba' team.

Great first half, we created chance and chance, which we missed but after 58 mins we were 2-0 up through 2 goals from the rapidly becoming enigmatic figure of Georgios Samaras. Then one slack pass fae the up until then impressive Paul Hartley, two errors of judgement by The Holy Goalie and massive clipboard failure meant that we hung on for a 2-2 draw and were left looking as bruised and battered as a Liverpool DJ who has spun Frank Sidebottom records all evening.

The goals are here, wie thanks to 101 great goals.

So, we come in at 54% possession, 3 shots on, 4 shots off and 2 shots blocked. All were decent chances. Dundee Hibs, had 3 shots on, 2 shots off and a massive 8 corners to oor 3. Again, all their chances were decent, in what, for a netural and not a neurotic freak, was a decent game of fitba'.

That is only the 2nd time this season that we have not won a game when we have taken the lead, yes, the other time was against Dundee Hibs also, and oor defences knack of losing goals in the 2nd period, 23 this season, and between 75 and 80mins, that's 4 this season, continues. We also have not won any of oor last 2 home games.

 "I was happy with the chances we made in the first half, and if there is anything we regret, it's that we didn't take them. We didn't start the second half very well but we got the second goal. I thought we could have got through with common-sense football but we didn't play common-sense football, as you saw." pointed oot oor manager, wie some sort of sense but while trying to climb his way back oot of Craig Levein pocket.

Levein saw, like 50 odd thousand others, that oor left-handside was a weak spot. Lee Naylor and Barry Robson were posted missing in the last 35 mins. He made the sub to exploit that area while oor manager did nothing to stop the flow doon that side. If anyone can gie me a decent argument for playing the limited Barry Robson in a creative wide berth at home then, bring it on.

If anyone can gie me a decent argument for not shooting Lee Naylor then, bring it on.

The lack of creativity from the wide areas means the "What To Do Wie Aiden McGeady " question, no longer becomes a sideshow. Oor manager said: "The reasons are that I wanted to stay faithful with the squad that played so well in the last two games. Also, everyone knows about this under-21 rule which we have complained about consistently since I have come here - as have other managers - but there is no change."

Whether playing McGeady, or even bringing on McGeady, in the last 20 would have changed the game is a if yer auntie had baws type question. The Celtic team were that ramshackle by this point a tightener was needed not a maverick. The loyality to the squad reasoning needs no backing, the not picking your best players is another ponder all together.

Last word to Big Sammy, the only player I have seen score 2 goals and have a performance that verged on the terrible: "We committed suicide. When you are two-nil up, you cannot lose two points; that is unacceptable."

Canny argue wie that.

Forza.

"Every Player Is A Puppet"

"Everybody who is fit is available. You don't lose any base fitness over two weeks so everybody who is in the squad has a chance of being involved." was oor managers only comment on the returning Aiden McGeady.

Smart money is on an appearance as sub. But, oor manager has been known to produce strange decisions and wie Shunsuke Nakamura being left out of the squad, due to 'The Virus', wonder what he will put in his diary, or soccer notebook, regarding that...

"Saturday 3rd Jan: Still got green snot coming oot ma nose, gaffer says I have to stay away. I read over my diary and stick pins in ma Koki Mizuno doll" 

...means that Koki and McGeady are the only creative widemen we have. Marc Crosas has returned, Jan Vennegoor made a fleeting appearance last week and Massimo Donati is fit enough to move back to Serie A by the 2nd Feb. 'Hessellinkitis' only has got Shaun Maloney and Paddy McCourt in it's grip. So, the manager has mair options than a mail order bride catalogue.

Dundee Hibs are unbeaten in 6 games, W3 D3, and drew on their last visit to CP. This season they were unlucky not to gain 3 points against us and have drew against The Huns twice. They are contenders for 3rd spot and will be a hard nut to crack. There record when they have scored first this season is W9 L1 but on the 8 occassions they have lost the 1st goal they have D3 L5 record.

Score first and win the game. Simple instruction to write doon on the clipboard for the manager. We have had 1 defeat in the last 16 games, in those games we have lost the 1st goal on 3 occassions giving us a W1 D1 L1 record.

Dundee Hibs have a decent record at CP. They have a D3 L2 record during WGS term. Wie Nakamura oot, Jan Vennegoor and Scott McDonald ,wie 3 goals apiece, are the main contenders in the goal scoring stakes. So, I reckon a 2-0 victory for Celtic wie both Jan and Skippy scoring.

The main aim is 3 points. All sideshows should be consigned to Bob.

Forza

Perfect 10.

"The Season Of Shit" 

Happy New Year.

You woke up on New Years Day and the world was the same. Nothing changes but, somehow, when you go to sleep on Hogmanay you reckon the world will be a better place. You wake up and find that yer hut still has that bit of felt missing, you still need to cook a Steak Pie and yer car husnae been replaced wie a nice new one, that disnny need to visit the scrap yard in the sky.

Then you have Celtic.

"There is not going to be a lot more money appearing from anywhere, that's for sure." said oor manager, raining on the 'We want to sign decent first team players' brigade. He also mentioned that The Big Cup money has been 'tucked away' in a cupboard and is being polished to pay of some debt.

We have completed deals. First up is Dundee Hibs goalie Lukasz Zaluksa. He has signed a pre-contract and is showing all the signs of a player that has trebled his wages and looking forward to sitting on the bench for a few seasons. See: Brown, Mark.

“It was a dream come true to sign for Celtic. That's something I've always wanted and it's an exciting time for me and my family as my wife's already begun looking for a house in Glasgow." said oor future benchwarmer, while flicking through a magizine eyeing up new Audi's.

Unless The Holy Goalie is for the off, his recent performances have caused his worth to plummet like a drunk after 24 snakebites and make him no longer the goalie of choice for clubs looking, plus he husnae got a Euro 2008 this summer to raise his bar again, then Zaluksa could end up playing 2nd fiddle for a few seasons.

The question is. Will he give The Holy Goalie mair competition or is this just a ploy to keep hold of the Polish pound/euro when Artur leaves? Decent goalie. Then I said that aboot Mark Brown.  

Wie, Milan Misun and Niall McGinn already signed and boxed in the 'One For The Future' cupboard it it seems that we maybe we will be a bit thin on 1st teamers joining.

But, it disnny stop players making noises and getting oor hopes up. Semir Stilic has had his head turned by his Mr 15% and has made a come and get me plea:"I want to leave Lech Poznan. It is an honour for me that a great club like Celtic are interested.  I know Lech appreciate me and want me to stay. But, if Lech agree, I would like to move club now. I don't want to wait because I don't even know if Celtic would still want me in six months' time." he said, not grasping the idea that Celtic probably don't want him just now, nevermind in 6 months.

Forza

I Thought Dark Lords Didnae Have Reflections?

It's Hogmanay. The time of year that the vast majority of Scotsmen and Wimin get leathered on cheap beer, wine and spirits, fall oot wie each other, their families and nee'bors, probably get lifted and wish each other a Happy New Year wie fists and kicks.

Just like any other Saturday, then.

Celtic's training this week would have been as frosty as a brass monkey in a freezer. The return of Aiden McGeady from suspension would have made interesting viewing. What we can gather is that he is back in the squad for the game against Dundee Hibs, has been rather sheepish in training, may or may not have apologised and has made it clear he wants to stay.

Whether he stays is doon to oor manager. The managers actions over the next few weeks will gie us an idea if he wants Aiden to stay or not. The players, well, Gary Caldwell, spoke regarding the situation..

"He is the manager and we are the players. We have to do our job on the park. His decision is final, you do what he tells you" he said, like a player who owes his career and £16,000 a week to the man wie the clipboard. 

"I think that is how it works in any walk of life, it is certainly how we work as players." he furthered, showing that he is still doon wie the man on the street, whose gaffer is also a bawbag.

We lacked creativity against The Huns. Ok, a midfield of Barry Robson, Scott Brown and Paul Hartley is fine at Ipox but at home to Dundee Hibs it's a tactic that will ensure a plodding 90mins. Shunsuke Nakamura may recover from 'The Virus' and Koki Mizuno will hopefully return from his self imposed brooding that caused him to say:

"I do put pressure on myself and I forced myself into a corner. I believe if I don't play well in the next Old Firm game I might not have a future here." he cried forgetting that better players than him have got lost at Ipox. See: Nakamura, Shunsuke.

A return for Aiden McGeady might be the best bet in the interest for the team. Is it in the best interest for the manager though?

Anyway, that's the blogmanay (cheers Arseblog for that term) over, awe the best to youse all for 2009. I know my 2009 will be like no other year I have EVER been through.

Forza.

A Little Time 

**Thanks to Antifa fae DeadRaiBead for the pic.**

An Unfunny Govanite 

Some Might Say, that a crime was commited in Govan over the weekend. Yes, for those that saw the Rab C Nesbitt Xmas special, then it was a crime against comedy that was the biggest injustice in Govan this weekend.

Celtic taking 3 points, against the run of play, was a massive distance behind in the crime stakes. It was a deserved victory in the sameway the 4-2 scoreline reflected The Huns dominace at CP earlier on in the season.

Ok, the stats pan oot as this: Celtic had 4 shots on target they had 2. Off target was a massive 6 for the unwashed and 2 for the good guys. Blocked shots was 6 for The Huns, all blocked by Calderbuer wie his right hand, and none for us. Oor possession lagged behind their 52.1% but these stats are some what eskewed by the last 30mins, which saw oor, fabled, European away tactics, work.

From being passengers Samaras, Scott Brown, Barry Robson and a mention to Lee Naylor, who did a great impression of a left-handsided midfielder, a championship left-handsided midfielder, who if he ever learns to cross the ba' as regular and Phil Taylor hits the treble 20, instead of his usual blind man chucking a hedgehog attempts would be a player. They joined Scott McDonald, Paul Hartley, Gary Caldwell and Artur Boruc in the box marked 'Bhoys Done Guid'.

A game that was played on a frozen surface, so much so a polar bear has set up camp and was last spotted eating Maurice Edu and shitting oot the remains of Nacho 'Ratboy' Novo, was never going to be filed under classic. In the end it was filed under 'Instantly Forgetable' but the 3 points were as welcome as ANY we have won over the last few seasons. Nearly 3 years since we last won at The Pox. It's been a long time coming but a performance, which was of the 'How Did We Get Away Wie That' type.

The goal will be remembered and included in many DVD's for years to come. Scott McDonald, score a half volley, which warmed the gonads of us 'auld timers'. It reminded us of King Kenny, Charlie Nicholas and The King Of Kings. What he lacks in skill he makes up in work-rate. Choice between Skippy and Kenny Miller, another player who lacks skill but has the work-rate of a Blackpool Donkey, while looking like one, also, then Skippy wins hands doon. Shades it on the natural ability stakes, which is not saying much.

If only Georgios Samaras, who has more ability, would take note of Skippy's work-rate.

So, oor manager survived, suspending Aiden McGeady, a crippling Hessellinkitis, which cost us oor creative menances, and a team that has lost form to win only his 3rd game against Walternosurname. He beamed: "It wasn't a classic game in the first half, it was huff and puff football. I felt we had more to offer in the second half, it wasn't easy to up it on a technical level but we got better." being generous in his view on the technique shown during the game.

He survived a strange clipboard moment, when he brought on O'Dea at full-back, but while the win is welcomed, for some to say that it has washed away oor failings in the last few weeks are as wide of the mark as a Lee Naylor cross.

Man Of The Match, Skippy, hit the nail on the head: "By no means are we getting carried away. There is a lot of football to go and it will mean nothing if we don't win next week and R*ngers do. We can enjoy this result then get a little rest and back on the training ground on Monday and get our heads screwed on for a tough, tough game against Dundee United next week."

So true.

Forza

Touched By The Hand Of God.

"For Feck's Sake It's Kenny Misser Scoring"

So, It is time to wonder what to do wie yer Craig Bellamys. You know, the presents that you really, really wanted but when you get them and have a wee fumble aboot wie them, decide it was not quite what you expected and you try sell it as quick as possible.

Celtic's record at Ipox under WGS is like a Craig Bellamy. Overall, it has caused no damage but it causes short-term pain and wonderment at why it is so poor. 1 win in 6, 4 defeats and a draw, which was got against the dead rubber that was PLG's Huns.

 "The pain of any defeat isn't helped by looking at the table" said oor manager after it was pointed oot we would still be top of the league even if we lose , sounding like he expects this mantra to come true tomorrow afternoon. And so he should. This is a venue that we have not scored in oor last 3 visits or even looked close to scoring in oor last 3 visits. Another performance like those then WGS can just gie up on getting one over Walter Nosurname and is thankful for The Huns poor away form against other teams.

"It has been shown over the years that it has not been huge. It is other results, surprise defeats, that have been costly, although to be fair, every game counts." boasted oor manager pointing to his 3 league gongs. While true, the problem is the fans see winning these games as part of the whole package and oor meek embarrassing defeats are a reason they are so many doubting Tims.

A win for us, basically, signals the end for The Huns. Yet, that is as likely as you ever wearing that jumper yer Auntie bought you. Oor poor form, just clearing up Hessellinkitis and oor record, at a venue we used to GIRUT on a regular basis, means we are massive underdogs. On the other hand, The Huns have only got to worry aboot how ugly a team they will put oot and if Monster Munch will partner Kenny Misser up front. The ghost of the 'Wattienaccio' lives on and Ratboy, who is a pain in the arse in these, games will get brought oot of storage for this one.

The clipboard will have late fitness tests to deal wie. Barry Robson, "is not right" according to the manager, Marc Crosas, "needs a few more games" but Paul Hartley has recovered from the plague and 'Mick is okay. He has trained, so he'll be fine." beamed WGS, not wie any sign of worry that oor captain is fine but has not been very guid recently.

Like, Europa away games these games have now become a monkey on WGS back. The suspension of Aiden McGeady for this game added to the managers habit of producing some clipboard madness, see Evander Sno being drafted in from the cold last season and Darren O'Dea playing full back, means the pressure is on WGS to get it right.

He has to learn how to combat Walter Nosurname Brutish Blackboard Tactics. Past results tell us that he can't do it. I fully expect him to try and change this wie Gary Caldwell playing in midfield in a move that has failed 3 times oot of 5 when attempted. Koki Mizuno will be subjected to abuse on the bench and Nakamura will be the only craft on show in the midfield.

The Huns seem to lose goals in the first 60 mins of games. They have lost 13 goals during this period. Celtic have scored 28 in the same time. The Huns like us have a habit of scoring and losing late goals. They have scored 12 in the last 15 of matches and lost 5. Celtic have scored 16 and lost 7. Late goals could hold the key.

However, as usual in derby games, the first goal will probably decide it. We have won 14 oot of 15 games where we have scored first and drew the other one. When we have lost the 1st goal we have W1 D1 L2 record this season. The Huns record when scoring first is W10 D3 L0 and when they have lost the first goal it's W3 and L2. Celtic seem a poor bet to comeback if we lose the first goal.

In blind faith I will predict a 1-1 draw. In all honesty, I have a feeling of here we go again.

Forza

This is the time of year people look back. They highlight their, eh, highlights and forget aboot their lowlights in a swarm of Special Brew and turkey. So, this year, I have decided to gie the Special Brew a miss, not the turkey, and I present to you the 1st EVER, and probably last, LoTW Christmas Awards, which have a look at the bawbaggery of the last year.

So lets begin.....

The Chris Sutton Not Good Enough For Celtic Award: Winner is Barry Robson. SPL journeyman we cried when he arrived fae Dundee Hibs. Scored wie his first touch against The Sheep then decided to become the Hunskelper. Him 'doing' Christen 'Judas' Dailly will live long in the memory. Done more than most men to ensure that we won 3IAR. We now notice when he disnny play.

The Simon Lynch We Will Regret Selling Award: Winner is Evander Sno. The mobility of The Campsies and turned like a cruise ship. Oor regret at selling was stoked by his Dutch Under 21 performances. His disappearing act at Ajax proves the coaches at Boaby-Lennoxtoon correct.

The John Smeaton Liar, Liar Pants On Fire Award: Only one candidate. The winner is David Murray. Smoke, mirrors and staring bankruptcy in the face wie such dignity. Currently living in John Reids back pocket.

The Karen Matthews Hide And Seek Award: The winner is Paddy McCourt. True champion at the sport. Gives you clues where he is then disappears wieoot trace.

The Liam Brady Management Excellence Award: The winner is Aalborg BK. Draw does you and your team suffers severe clipboard failure. Add to Bratislava etc, etc, etc.....

The Saint Martin Of O'Neill Management Excellence Award: Last 8 games of last season. Made great tactical and bold team selections. What do you mean Scott Broon was suspended....

The John Park Come Fly Wie Me Award: The winner is Glesga to Dublin or Belfast wie Ryan Air. Magic. You can bring back cheap midfielders...

The Kaiser Chiefs "I Predict A Riot" Award: The winner is Manchester 08. It was their Seville. They were desperate to oot do us in the number stakes. It was a case of spent giros, MD 20/20, sun and bigotry. Sit back and watch it go. And we did. In the space of 24 hours they did more damage to their club than yer average Greek wie a petrol bomb.

That's it. Have you got any 'awards' that need to get served?

Merry Christmas to all of the LoTW Squadra. Thanks for making this blog the biggest Celtic blog on OleOle. Also, thanks to OleOle for taking the punt. Let's get pished. We won't remember in the morning....

Forza

We all know Celtic's profile in Japan has increased due to us signing Shunsuke Nakamura and Koki Mizuno. The other evening, BBC Scotland had a program called "Football Far East: Beyond Nakamura", which showed Celtic trying to exploit, milk, rob, con, expand The Celtic Brand in Asia. 

You had to put up wie Alex Millar, Steven Tweed and Les Mottram but for this 4mins 42 seconds it was worth me not paying ma Tv License.

"Naylor you Idiot".

The full program is here. Watch and cringe at Peter Lawwell. At least Robin Hood wore a mask.

Forza

"Working for The Yankee Dollar"

Koki Mizuno, He Flies, You Know...

First cries of Aiden McGeady happened, around, 1 minute in. They quickly faded. Celtic's PR machine has went into overdrive. Over the weekend, the press and Celticcybertimdom were full of stories from every Tom, Dick or Harry, or in oor case, Liam, Sean or Brendan, telling us tales of bawbagger-ness attributed to Mr McGeady. Radio Scotland, or Hootsman, had 'insider' knowledge passed on by Murdo 'Dunga Face' McLeod, which firmly laid the blame at McGeadys door. It was so one-sided that I half expected McLeod, to tell McGeady to: "Go on home..."

It's leaving a bad taste.

Even the manager gave McGeady a G.I.R.U.Y. He gave Koki Mizuno his first start wie the instructions to get to the line as often as Amy Winehouse on a night oot. "He has needed to get used to the Scottish culture and climate because he came straight from Japan, not like Nakamura who went to Italy first." advised oor manager on why he hasn't played The Man From Japan Mark II before now. He then gave him, Koki, a deserved pat on the back: "Koki gave us good width, good change of pace and good crosses and he gave us a goal as well", which you can see here along wie Scott McDonalds first goal in 7 games.

McDonald gave a man of the match performance and deserved his goal. His partner, though, Georgios Samaras, goal aside, is rapidly becoming the best advert for Jan Vennegoor there is.

After the week we had and the previous 2 games we needed 3 points. We got them. Performance level was well below the standard we will need going into the Bigotdome on Saturday but the manager deserves praise for going to a stadium where we have struggled and playing a midfield that looked like the Royal Mile during the Embra festival. 50% Japanese.

Oor makeshift defence, or first choice defence, got a clean sheet but they were very very comfortable against the worst Fawkirk side that John Hughes Blackboard has seen scribbled on it. Still, the worry is the Hesselinkitis, which saw us wieoot 8 players for Sundays game.

"Paul Hartley woke up with a bad virus" moaned WGS, conjuring up visions of  flesh eating virus that lives in Paul Hartleys beard and he added "I don't know how serious Stephen's injury is, we will see on Monday." Even though Darren O'Dea was sticking pins in his vodoo McManus doll it seems Captain Plastic will be fine. No word on Hartley, who is getting poked by guys in white suits and kept in a sterile chamber. We may need to bust him oot like that final scene in E.T, if we dinny want Gary Calderbuer in the midfield against The Huns.

Forza 

There will be no 'Pipes Of Peace' tomorrow at Westfield. Injuries rob us of Barry Robson and Mo Donati. Bad management or big-heided-ness, rob us of Aiden McGeady. Oor midfield is as short of readies as Kerry Katona's bank account.

The Celtic Way, in all of us, calls for Paul Caddis or Koki Mizuno to play wide in midfield. Oor manager may add fuel to the smouldering wreck by seeing Gary Caldwell returning to his midfield berth and Scott Brown movin oot wide. Worth noting that Caldwell while, not playing all that badly in midfield, he has been involved in 3 defeats oot of 4 appearances in there. 

John 'Yogi' Hughes will not spring any surprises in his team line up. His clipboard contains less options than WGS's when it comes to a lack of Plan B. His team play football on the 'rug' and their deep lying midfielder usually has a decent game against us due to him being afforded the freedom of Fawkirk. If WGS plays Caldwell and Hartley in there that won't happen but we will be as creative as a team playing wieoot McGeady and Maloney accordingly.

We have played poorly at Westfield but have escaped wie 4 victories and 1 defeat in WGS's time. In a twist of fate, surely dealt by the ghod of irony, Aiden McGeady is the chief Fawkirk-Skelper wie 5 goals and 2 of them have came at Westfield.

The game tomorrow will be all aboot Aiden McGeady. Win, lose or draw he will be the talking point.

Forza