Greece is the word. Panathinaikos did what Celtic couldnae do and qualified for the last 16 of The Big Cup. What has that got to do wie us, I hear all 33 LoTW Readers cry? Well, according to oor friend, Bert Kassies, we should be as worried as a Greek Petrol Bomber who has runoot of bedsheets.

The reason. Greece are in 13th spot in the country rankings. Oor Dear Green Place is sitting at 12 and it is not looking very pretty. Years of Mars Bar suppers and Irn Bru have taken it's toll. If Panathinaikos and Olympiakos, who are in the UEFA Vase, win any of their remaining games then, Geece will take 12th spot, meaning that the SPL Champions of 2009/2010, Celtic, will need to play 2 qualifying rounds, not against the likes of Artmedia and Fc Kanus of Midlothian, before we suffer more away defeats and failure in the Group Stages for the 2010/2011 Big Cup.

Something to keep us interested.......maybe.

Tims In Shorts

Georgios Samaras is a striker struggle to find form. The Big Striker has been looking like a Man Citeh reject and he admits as much. "I'm looking for a good performance in my next game and finding my form again. I am going to find my form again. I will be back for sure. I'm back already but I will be better and better every game. The first game, I was a little bit anxious. I had it in my mind but now I am free." he said sorting his scarf and pondering if his early season, 9 goal haul, was just a blip. He seemed to be the only Greek who was not up for a fight this week.

Another striker looking for his form, underneath his bed, is The New Craig Beattie, Cillian Sheridan. After being dragged from his darkened room, the low on confidence striker, who has been sharing late night phone calls wie Robbie Keane, where they talk aboot their fear of the ball, nevermind their fear of the goal, Cillian mumbled:  "I know that will take a lot of hard work but it has given me confidence to know that the manager has kept faith in me when other strikers are coming back, so I need to reward him with good performances. " before hiding under the table.

Two strikers wie something to prove then.

Heart To Heart.

Defeat, last week was as expected as Noddy Holder screaming: "It's Christmas", from a Supermarkets PA in October. We have been poor in oor last 4 domestic games. Arguments can be made that oor best performance in those 4 games came in the defeat to The Feeder Club. No argument can be made against that defeat tomorrow would see a Come To Jesus type talking too required.

Heart Of Lithuania have put off the pending closing doon sale, a sale that will be the fitba version of Woolworths reducing their pick and mix wie The Flumps being the last to go. The Current Bond Villian, Shabba Laszlo, has worked oot Romanov's blueprint and no defeats since we beat them sees this fixture marked as 'Might Need Back Up'.

They have only lost 2 goals in their last 5 games. They have only lost 7 goals in 2nd periods of games this season. Compare that wie their record in the first 20 minutes of matches when they have lost the same amount of goals. They have also scored an amazing 9 goals in the first 25mins of games. Celtic have scored 12 goals in this period and have only lost 1.

So, get in for kick off as this game could be decided early.

“We want to maintain the good run we’ve been on. We stumbled a bit last week but that happens. You have to deal with setbacks at this club. On Wednesday, we recovered from that blow and won the game. That’s down to the players." boasted WGS today after coxing Cillian Sheridan oot from under the table.

It was also doon to the Golden Notebook showing it's best line-up on the park. Something that most continue.

Rumour O'Filter.

Looks like Celtic are favourites to sign Niall Quinn from Derry City. The player was spotted in Karbon the other night, something that he willnae be able to do if he signs, boasting to pals that he was Celtic's new signing. Also, The Huns are interested in signing Dean Shiels from The Feeder Club. One to keep an eye on I think.

Forza.

Twitter and Profile.

Ok.

"Feedthebeargate"

In the attempts to be seen as knowledgeable, I posted a question that I had the wrong answer for. Roy Aitken left Celtic on the 10th Jan 1990 for The Barcodes. This means, that when he came on as a sub for Ecosse against Diego Maradonas Argentina in March 1990 he was a Barcode player.

LoTW can only apologise for this oversight. Not that 99% of the readers bothered their arse to answer the question anyway. So, to make it easier for the 99% that didnae take part here is a wee highlights package, worth watching 24mins of pure Hoopy gold, to help you wie the last blogs teaser, which was name the starting 11 that won the league at Love Street in May 86.

**Looks smug wie himself as in no way will any of the 33 readers realise that, once again, he has posted a question he does not know the answer to and the video will help him**

Boruc Kills A Helen At Love Street

It was an easy victory, as my during game Hail Hails back up, but only one "incident" will make the headlines. The incident is here. It has been described by one of the beacons of bampottery for the pay-as-you-go generation as, as bad as Toni Schumacher in the 1982 World Cup. While it's not an audition for re-make of The Karate Kid, it's akin to a drunk bumping into a fellow drunk on Sauchiehall Street on a Saturday night. No malice just stupid.

Uncle Fester MacPherson was one of the first wie the massive over-reaction: "We are not complaining about goal-scoring opportunities or it being the last man, we are only talking about the challenge. If a centre-back or outfield player makes a challenge as crude as that, I think there would only be one outcome - we would all be expecting a red card." he moaned, I think, wieoot actually seeing the incident.

The Helen player who was on the end of the "bump", Craig Dargo, put a nail in the coffin of the accusations of a heid high tackle when he said: "He caught me on the top of my leg. I wasn't really trying to look at him too much because if I had seen him coming I would have pulled out of it a bit. If he had hit me full on I would have been in some pain."

There you go. While some are blaming Boruc for war in the Middle East, The Credit Crunch and Timmy Mallet being back on the telly, the player involved backs up the footage that the HG pulls out of the challenge before contact.

Jog on. Nothing to see or moan aboot.

Which is what GS did. "We played better than we did last week against Hamilton and we had to.We were fortunate we had players who can do magical things." said GS. 52% possession, 6 shots on and 7 off target, compared to The Helen's 1 shot on and 1 shot off shows how comfortable it was.

Goals from Samaras, a cracker from Naka and a tap in from Cillian Sheridan completed 11 wins in a row. We lost a stupid goal in the last minute to oor auld friend Jim Hamilton. Only blip on the day.

The manager beamed aboot Nakamura: “The second goal [by Nakamura] was magnificent, even the boys are talking about it just now and I thought he was fantastic all day. It was a day when it was grey and horrible and you didn’t expect that kind of performance but he gave us it all day.” He is on a great scoring run The Man From Japan and is 2nd top goalscorer for us, joint wie Skippy, after Samaras, who we are glad is back.

That is 19 goals we have scored in the final 30mins of games this season but we have also lost 11 in the same period. Seems oor games come to life then.

Winner Takes It All.

It's a fight to the death then. Winner takes all in Denmark. So, it's always nice when some big mouth from the other camp comes oot wie tosh like this: ""Celtic are not intimidating. I believe we will win against them. There was no player who was outstanding, on the contrary, I was more impressed by St Mirren who managed to get some great scoring chances. Celtic's defence is far from world class, and we will create many chances if we manage to keep the ball on the ground."

While being completely off the radar wie part of that comment, we have to agree oor defence is not world class. Compared to Aalborg BK's though it has lost 6 goals less in the Big Cup this season. A defence that has lost 11 goals in 4 games should mean easy pickings but wie oor record of only 1 goal in the Big Cup and only 11 shots on target and 15 off target, means that we might be trying to savage  the Danes wie a died gerbil. 

In terms of performances away from home, we have improved this season but that has been at the detriment of creating chances and scoring goals. In fact I would say the Big Cup has been a disappointment this season.

While the press and the bookies have forgotten that we huvnae won away fae home in the Big Cup and that we huvnae scored a goal away from home since December 2006 they make us favourites to win the UEFA Vase bun fight. They seem to have missed the ghost of Rosenburg that is slapping LoTW in the coupon.

We are now behind Aalborg BK in terms of possession, 46% and 43%, and also shots on and off target. The only stat we are in front of them wie is we have commited 69 fouls compared to their 60. But, Aalborg BK have lost 7 goals in the last 15mins before HT and 5 in the last 15 before FT. That suits oor strong goalscoring record in those periods.

The guid news for us is oor Hessellinkitis seems to be clearing up wie Aiden McGeady set to return.

"Aiden has a great chance. His calf injury is okay. He had a bit of tendonitis in the knee in the last couple of days but he came in yesterday and felt really good." said Neil Lennon, Celtic chief cone puter-outer, before the team flew oot.

He agrees wie LoTW's when he said: "It is a must win game for us. I think it will be a British style game. But we are in good form and we want to get that monkey off our back in terms of winning away from home". The winning away fae hame monkey means that I would take a draw in this game.

Aalborg BK have only lost to Man Utd and Getafe at home in Europe in the last 5 years. Though Celtic's record in Europe against Danes is decent, 7W 2D 2L, this is a tough tie just due to THAT away record. We have to treat it as a Scottish Cup tie against a team we have the guns to outgun. That team though, also fancy their chances at causing an upset.

Will we stick wie oor 4-2-3-1 formation that we played at Trafford Ball Park and El Madrigal or revert to a 4-4-2? Oor manager say's: "We try and attack everywhere we go so it will be no different and we will play the game as we see it" while mentioning slight injury concerns to Nakamura, Robson and Hartley.

The golden notebook needs all 3 to be on it. Esp Robson. He will need to add to his 14 fouls that he has already commited this season in the Big Cup. At least we are top of the Big Cup league in something.

It's nearly behind the couch time. Thoughts and fears, put them in the Hail Hails (you don't have to be logged in to comment), it's like a problem page for sad, lonely Tims worried aboot away Euro games. Dinny worry, last time we played on the 25th November, away from home, we drew wie Barca.

Forza

Wow.

What a week. A week that has rocked the foundations of Celtic Fitba' Club. Yes, this week the Celtic PLC sunk to a new low. Aboot 30mins into the 1st half on Wednesday night the Timbotron had an advert for the Egg-Chasing in Embra this weekend. It's shameful that they think the normal 'Tic fan would be interested in Egg-Chasing* but wanting us to spend oor hard earned giros in salt and sauce land is a step too far.

What do you mean Celtic have been banning fans for taking part in a peaceful, some would say misguided, protest? Oh, disclaimer it's seems they haven't, so make up yer own mind.

Integrity and Dignity

It's all as murky as Walter Nosurname claiming that M.I.B Flagwaver Timmy Murphy has it in for The Huns. Nosurname said: "the stand-side linesman Mr Murphy... had one of those last season and gave an offside Scott McDonald goal." showing no sign of bitterness whatsoever. LoTW awaits the SFA/SPL summons, delivered by winged monkey, arriving at Ipox wie bated breath. Strange Nosurname never mentioned the offside call they got at New Douglas Park wie the same gusto.

Hunnarism Is Catching.  

After, Bernie's pitch to become the spokesman for the RST another contender put his beannie hat in the ring. The Saint Of Good Causes, Bono, was presenting an award to the man who wrote "The Frog Chorus" and "Mull Of Kintyre", which is better than the shite MTV show 24 hours a day now.

Anyway, he decided to pro-claim that Liverpool was the "capital of Eastern Ireland" and that popular beat combo "The Beatles" would have been Irish if it "wasn't for the potato famine". LoTW wonders if this is the first example of reserve famine songism?

One Man Went To Mo, Went To Mo A Sheridan.

Celtic beat, First Division Team In Waiting, The Marnocks, 3-0, a scoreline predicted by LoTW, wie goals from Cillian Sheridan, here,here and the usual goal from 'Marnockskelper Shunsuke Nakamura. WGS was impressed by a fringe player who looked like he was being packed to Sampdoria in the summer.

"I thought that was the right kind of game for him", gushed WGS, confirming what LoTW thought that Massimo Donati could only play in games so one-sided the pitch was in danger of tipping over, "...his performances in training have been absolutely fantastic": pointed oot WGS as if he needed to confirm Mo-Do's inclusion shoulnae have been a surprise.

3 points, 9 wins in a row and now 4 points clear after losing the league, according to the meeja, at the end of August. "We've won 9 SPL games in a row and in that time we have had to play Big Cup games and Diddy Cup games and have had to deal with that", smirked WGS before adding :"So the players can be pleased wie themselves".

It was a game that we were so far in front even at 1-0 it was comfortable. Future Scotland Manager, Jim Jeffries, again, proved his ineptness when playing a decent team. This lead to Celtic being slack in the final third of the field.

Cillian Sheridan continued his road to graduating wie honours from the Craig Beattie School of Strikers Bobby Lennox Castle Branch. 2 goals, taking his tally to 3 in his flirtation wie the first 11, and a performance that really did nothing to say he has what it takes.

WGS said aboot Cillian:"I couldn't have asked for anything more, it was a terrific performance. When he came here to Celtic, he was raw but there was something about him. We've realised that he is an intelligent lad that takes things in". He is still raw and one thing the masses seem to think that he does not seem to have natural fitba' intelligence. To learn this he needs games. To get games he will need to go oot on loan when Hessellinkitis clears up.

Wednesday, produced 60.3% possession stat wie 9 shots on and 6 shots off target. First Division team in waiting, The 'Marnocks, did not register a shot on goal. Celtic's last 2 goals came in the 75 and 84th mins. This means we have now score 11 goals in the final 15 minutes of games this season.

Rumour O'Fliter

Sylvinho, the 34yo ex-Arsenal and now Barca reserve, has opened his heart on a dream move, which will see him fufill a dream to play in Paisley and Inverness. He said: "It was mentioned to me in August that Celtic were interested in me, but back then I was not comtemplating leaving Barca". Sounds like he now is.

Austrian Marc Janko has been linked to take Cillian Sheridan place on the Celtic bench. The Red Bull Salzburg striker is attracting attention from big hitters such as Udinese, Sampdoria, Genoa and Espanyol. He has scored 20 goals in 16 games this season and at 6ft 5in seems he is maybe viewed as Jan Vennegor's younger fitter brother.

Dundee Hibs Polish number 1, whose parents where such massive Kate Bush fans they changed their name by deed poll in her honour, Lukasz Zaluska, will maybe sign a pre-contract in January to sit on the bench until Artur leaves.

Will It Be All Academic?

Relegated Hamilton Accies welcome Celtic to Hamilton for the first time since season 1988/89. That game ended wie The Hoops winning 8-0 and for some fun let's see how many of the 33 readers can name the goalscorers?

That version of Douglas Park is now a supermarket so New Douglas Park is where the Bhoys will try and make it 10 in a row and hopefully it won't end up cherrio to 10 in a row. It would be a major shock if Relegated Hamilton stopped their drop to the 1st division and end thier 8 game run wieoot a win by beating 9 in a row Celtic.

As before future playerism comes in the form of Judas James McCarthy who will be glad of a game that he disnny get racist abuse. He is Accies 2nd top goalscorer wie an earth shattering 2 goals. Top goalscorer is Graham wie 3.

Celtc, who welcomed back Georgios Samaras, Glenn Loovens and Shunsake Nakamura back for the game against The 'Marnocks are still short of a full deck. We are still wieoot Hesselink (Hesselinkitis), Crosas (Hammie ouch),  McGeady (Loss of form ouch), Joe Doumbe (Who ouch?), Paddy McCourt (Just unfit ouch), Chris Killen (We are havin' a laugh ouch) and Artur Boruc (Dodgy goalie knee ouch).

We should have enough to overcome Relegated Hamilton who have lost 6 goals between 15 and 25mins and 7 goals between 35 and 45mins. Celtic have scored 5 and 7 goals in those periods. Will Scotlands 2nd top goalscorer, Georgios Samaras get the chance to regain top spot in that chart by starting the game and scoring in those weak Relegated Hamilton periods? Will Scott McDonald decide that he fancies scoring this week instead of improving on his impressive 7 assists this season?

Golden notebook changes could come in the midfield also. Nakamura maybe rested, Mo-Do may make way for Hartley or Robson and could KoKo The Mizuno come into the reckoning? Score? 4-0 wie McDonald scoring 2 of them.

Finto. I'm off to laugh at the geeks who play "World Of War Craft" and in no way feel embarressed that I get excited over Celtic stats the sameway they get excited by playing in a fantasy world killing fantasy zombies. It's just as bad as Football Manager, I tell you. And being a stat geek is mair cool than being a fantasy geek. We have better clothes and taste in music.

Hail Hails are open leave a comment on this pish if you can be bothered. Celtic homepage is here, LoTW profile page is here. Oh, Darren O'Dea and Aiden McGeady. Do none of the 33 LoTWites read the blog? Heh.

Forza.

*LoTW knows that 33.3% of the 33 LoTWites like Egg-Chasing.*

Hibs turned up on Saturday in a ghastly yellow kit. I huvnae seen anything as ghastly in yellow since Delia Smith shouted "Let's be havin you!!" to some tractor-shaggers in a relegation battle. Apart from a few long range efforts and unjust abuse from some sections from the home crowd, Derek Riordan, disappeared into his lesser-spotted mode that was seen often when he doned the Hoops.

The Poormans Shaun Maloney.

That's Entertainment!!!!

Sang Mr P.Weller from Slough. He must have had The Hoops in mind as penned that modern classic. Celtic's habit of now letting the away team score 2 goals at Celtic Park means that we have seen some great comebacks, Hibs and Aberdeen and one disgraceful defeat this season. Still we can't complain as on Saturday we saw a decent game in Monsoon season.

Celtic beat Hibs 4-2. The highlights from 101 Great Goals are here. As predicted Mick McManus scored and Cillian Sheridan put us 2-0 up. Just when it looked like a case of how many we would score Hibs got back into the game via a wicked deflection. Then just to highlight the joke that is Barry Robson at LB, Colin Nish beasted him down the flank and whipped in an undefendable ball for Real Madrid bound Steven Fletcher to bundle in at the back post. Glenn Loovens and Scott Brown scored to ensure that we got the deserved 3 points.

If Robson had got skinned by Fletcher or the lesser-spotted Riordan then I could understand. But it was Colin Nish who sometimes makes extra money doubling as a footballer rather than his usual lanky piece of pish. Not, that he didnae have a complex at the final whistle..

He moaned: "If it was me (drowning in his own self importance), I would have got sent off." He was talking about the red-cardable tackle that Scott McDonald committed on Irishman David Van Zantan. Even Skippy himself admitted that the tackle was a shocker: "As soon as we made contact I knew it was a bad one and you could tell by my reaction". So, a centre forward commiting a rash tackle. You don't see that everyday.

The manager was pleased and he feels that the 40 odd thousand that paddled and canoed their way to the East End of Glesga were entertained. He said: "The people whe follow our games are getting value for money. We try and play good football and entertain". Like on Wednesday night we entertained the whole of Britain wie oor ineptness.

Still the stats back up his claim. 9 shots on and 8 shots off target, 17 corners to 1 and 61% possession plus a decent game from Andy Hinkel means it was a decent afternoon bar the laspe of 15 mins before HT and just after. Celtic continued their habit of winning when they score first and make it 6 wins in a row domestically scoring 20 goals.

Rumour O'Filter.

Shunsuke Nakamura is rumoured to be wanting to go home. The Japanese Beckham will seemingly be offered the debt of Iceland to return home to play quarterback for the Yokohama Marinos. Some bloke from the Japanese FA said Naka the world: "My child is approaching the age of going to nursery school and I am 30"..unsure where the Japanese bloke gets the idea that means he is leaving but maybe he has just been watchin 'Iwouldratherbeanywhereelse' performances over the last few weeks.

Show us the Yen.

Still ignoring the hole that is left back, Gordon has seemingly dispatched the scouts to Belgium to watch Racing Genk striker Elyaniv Barda. The Israeli has scored 19 goals in 37 appearances for the Belgians after signing for them cause he failed to agree terms wie the mighty Cypriots APOEL. As usual the meeja are reporting a bun-fight between us and relegation haunted Bolton for him.

Ipswich manager Jim Magilton has denied he has appraoched Darren O'Dea wie the view to making him a tractor boy. He said: "He's a good player and he's played well at U21 level, but we haven't made an approach for Darren." I have just put this in so I can sink the blog to a new low by posting a picture of Darren's Burd who has made mair headlines than him this season.

Stan Collymore Bawbag Of The Week

Stan who is usually seen in and around the parks of The Brum or hitting burds in Parisian pubs decided to give us his wisdom on why we shouldnae get into the EPL. He moaned, yes MOANED: "Too many English sides have paid their subs for 100 years to be pushed aside by Celtic, who wouldn't have the quality to survive in the EPL".

Just like Stan, who husnae got the quality to appear on Sky or Setanta but has to talk pish on Channel 5 commenting on UEFA Vase games no-one gie's a monkey aboot.

Kilmarnock In The Diddy Cup.

Fair do's to Kilmarnock for dropping ticket prices to 15 Scottish notes for this one. Wie the game being in the midweek and live on the BBC I'm sure that will attract another 150 through the gates for this one.

Anyway, wie Celtic at the bear bones in the striking department we will probably see Craig Beattie a like Cillian Sheridan continue up front wie the misfiring Scott McDonald. The Irishman said: "I know I'm only in the team because of Injuries but I hope to get a run of games". He is raw. Seems to have a bit of pace and has beefed up a bit since his debut in a Scottish Cup tie in Inversenkie some seasons back.

Another Irishman looking to make an impression is Paddy McCourt. The Irish Nedved, who produced a 8min cameo on Saturday, which had one WAG raving on a radio phone in on Saturday night, said: "I hope I can repay the Celtic fans because they are showing patience and faith in me. The manager has not needed to say much to me because I knew what I had to do.I can tell he is with me without him actually having to say anything. The fitter I have become, the more he has involved me each day with the first-team training. I don't need to be told."

Could we see the first start for Paddy against Kilmarnock as Celtic try to extend our managers 7 game unbeaten run at Rugby Park? Kilmarnock have sneaked to 4th in the SPL but suffered a surprise defeat on Saturday to Falkirk. This was their first defeat in 2 games and their record over the last 8 has been won 4 lost 4.

Ex-playerism comes in the form of David Fernandez who time at Celtic was spent putting oot the cones for training. No ex-Killie players in oor ranks mainly due to them being shite for the last 3 or 4 seasons. Scott McDonald and Nakamura like scoring against Kilmarnock both have scored 4 goals at Rugby Park. Dependant on the team we put oot this could be another comfortable victory but history tells us that the Diddy Cup has seen some poor performances over the last few seasons.

Still, Sheridan should continue his Beattie like rise to fame wie another goal, I will also think one of the CB's will score as we seem to have a threat from the back not seen since Varga and Balde were at their pomp. A 3-1 victory as the defence won't keep a clean sheet.

Hail Hails are open for comments, you don't need to be logged in to Hail and I will see you on Thursday for a post match end of week round up of Celticness. Thanks to Number 7 fae KDS for the Cillian Sheridan photo.

Forza